What? I'm going to miss this place?

Moving On

     I sit here with walls once littered with pictures, canvases, verses, and odd and ends. There's already a slight echoing around the room if someone talks too loud (or squeals like our daughter). It's the only thing we've done in our operation pack the house, but I feel like it's probably the biggest step. This is real... it's actually going to happen. We are moving out of this house. 

     I've kind of been avoiding this step and I'll avoid the next steps too. And I've avoided writing this because I remember everything that's happened in this house. 

    

     Funnily enough I couldn't wait to leave. Absolutely despise this desert and it's dirt and "dry" heat. Even with the amazing and inspiring friends that we've come to think of as family I wanted to leave. But now it's becoming more of a reality. And some fear. Do I really want to live? Or am I afraid?

     We've brought 2 babies home to this house. Our children have had their first baths, first laughs, their first bumped noggin. Eva took her first steps in this very room I'm sitting in, on the very carpet she is now playing on. 

    

      So many firsts have happened in this house for Josh and I too. We've grown so much as a married couple and as individuals. And fought and had terrible fights. We've overcome so much. Struggling to eat when we first arrived here and no money to being able to financially afford a brand new couch and van! 

       Though I still am so excited to move, I find myself incredibly sad and so thankful. I will miss so many people in this place. They were and are lights in a dark place and made living here the best thing ever. I've come in the last few months to even appreciate the beauty of the desert.  And I think that though I have never been a fan of here we sufficiently explored and conquered this part of the country and milked everything it had to offer us. That we could at least physically and financially accomplish ha!

    I'm being to finally find that contentment in everyday life, and it's quite soothing to the soul.

 "I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Philippians 4:11